Act I, Scene III

Enter Erotium, from her house.

Ero. My life, Menaechmus, save you.

Pen. And what for me? Ero. You are out of my number.

Pen. * * * * that same thing is wont to be done for the other supernumeraries of the legion.

Men. I would order a skirmish to be got ready there at your house for me to-day.

Ero. To-day it shall be done.

Men. In that skirmish we two shall drink. Him shall you choose that shall be found there the better warrior with the goblet; do you make up your mind with which of the two you'll pass this night. How much, my love, when I look upon you, do I hate my wife.

Ero. Meantime, however, you cannot help being wrapped in something of hers. What's this? (Takes hold of the mantle.)

Men. (taking it off). 'Tis a new dress for you, and a spoil from my wife, my rosebud.

Ero. You have a ready way of prevailing, so as to be superior in my eyes to any one of those that pay me suit. (Embraces him.)

Pen. (aside). The harlot's coaxing in the meantime, while she's looking out what to plunder * * * * (to Erotium) for if you really loved him, by this his nose ought to have been off with your teething him.

Men. Take hold of this, Peniculus: I wish to dedicate the spoil that I've vowed.

Pen. Give it me. (Holds it while Menaechmus puts it on.) But, i' faith, prithee, do dance afterwards with the mantle on in this way.

Men. I--dance? I' faith, you're not in your senses.

Pen. Are you or I the most? If you won't dance, then take it off.

Men. (to Erotium). At a great risk have I stolen this to-day. In my opinion, indeed, Hercules didn't ever carry off the belt from Hippolyta with danger as great. Take this for yourself (he takes it off, and gives her the mantle), since you are the only one alive that's compliant with my humours.

Ero. With such feelings 'tis proper that real lovers should be animated.

Pen. (aside). Those, indeed, who are making haste to bring themselves down to beggary.

Men. I purchased that for my wife a year since at the price of four minae.

Pen. (aside). The four minae are clearly gone for ever, as the account now stands.

Men. Do you know what I wish you to attend to?

Ero. I don't know; but I'll attend to whatever you do wish.

Men. Order a breakfast, then, to be provided for us three at your house, and some dainties to be purchased at the market; kernels of boars' neck, or bacon off the gammon, or pig's head, or something in that way, which, when cooked and placed on table before me, may promote an appetite like a kite's: and--forthwith

Ero. I' faith, I will. Men. We're going to the Forum: we shall be here just now. While it's cooking, we'll take a whet in the meantime.

Ero. Come when you like, the things shall be ready.

Men. Only make haste, then. Do you follow me (to Peniculus).

Pen. By my troth, I certainly shall keep an eye on you, and follow you. I wouldn't take the wealth of the Gods to lose you this day. (Exeunt Menaechmus and Peniculus.

Ero. (speaking at the door of her house). Call Cylindrus, the cook, out of doors this moment from within.