Act II, Scene VIII

Enter PALAESTRIO and PHILOCOMASIUM from the Captain's house.

PAL. (speaking to her in a low voice as he enters). Be sure to remember my instructions.

PHIL. (aside). It's strange you should so often remind me.

PAL. (aside). But I fear you may not prove cunning enough.

PHIL. (aside). Give me even ten scholars, though far from artful, I could instruct them so as to prove artful; in me alone is there a superabundance of artfulness: come, then, now put your plans in force; I'll step aside here. (Steps aside.)

PAL. What have you to say, Sceledrus?

SCEL. (not lifting up his eyes). I'm about this business of mine: I have got ears, say what you please.

PAL. I think that in that self-same position you will have to die outside the gates, when, with hands outstretched, you will be carrying your cross.

SCEL. For what reason so?

PAL. Just look on your left hand; who is that lady?

SCEL. (looking). O ye immortal Gods, it really is the lady of my master!

PAL. I' faith, so she seems to me as well. Do then, now, since so you would have it

SCEL. Do what?

PAL. Die this very instant.

PHIL. (advancing). Where is this faithful servant, who has falsely accused me in my innocence of this most heinous crime?

PAL. See, here he is; 'tis he that told it me, — assuredly 'twas he.

PHIL. Villain, did you say that you had seen me next door here kissing?

PAL. Besides, he said it was with some strange young man.

SCEL. I' faith, I did say so, undoubtedly.

PHIL. You, saw me?

SCEL. Yes, with these self-same eyes.

PHIL. I fancy you will lose those eyes, which see more than what they really do see.

SCEL. By my faith, I shall never be intimidated from having seen what I really did see.

PHIL. In my foolishness I am delaying too long in parleying with this madman, whom, by the powers, I'll punish with death.

SCEL. Forbear to threaten me: I know that the cross will prove my tomb; there are laid my forefathers, my father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather. 'Tis not in possibility, however, for these eyes of mine to be dug out by your threats. But I want a few words with you; prithee, Palaestrio, whence came she hither?

PAL. Whence but from our house?

SCEL. From our house?

PAL. Do you credit me?

SCEL. I do credit you: but 'tis a thing to be wondered at, how she has been able to return from that house to ours. For, beyond a doubt, we have neither a terrace to our house, nor any garden, nor any window but what is latticed. (To PHILOCOMASIUM.) But, undoubtedly, I did see you in the house next door.

PAL. Do you persist, you rascal, in pretending to accuse her?

PHIL. In good sooth, then, the dream has not turned out untrue, that I dreamed last night.

PAL. What did you dream?

PHIL. I'll tell you; but, I pray you, give attention. Last night, in my sleep, my twin-sister seemed to have come from Athens to Ephesus with a certain person, her lover. Both of them seemed to me to be having their lodgings here next door.

PAL. (to the Audience). The dream that's being related is Palaestrio's — pray, go on.

PHIL. I seemed to be delighted because my sister had come, and on her account I seemed to be incurring a most grievous suspicion. For, in my sleep, my own servant seemed to accuse me, as you are now doing, of being caressed by a strange young man, whereas it was that own twin-sister of mine, who had been toying with her own friend. Thus did I dream that I was wrongfully accused of a crime.

PAL. And isn't just the same thing befalling you when awake, that you speak of as seen in your sleep? Capital; i' faith, the dream is verified: go in-doors, and pray. I should recommend that this be told to the Captain.

PHIL. I am resolved to do so; nor, in fact, will I allow myself, with impunity, to be accused of disgraceful conduct, (Goes into the Captain's house.)